


The Journey Home (you aren't alone)

by im_dying_inside



Series: Teenagers and Quests (are the very best) [4]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, BELMER'S HERE TOO THEY JUST DONT HAVE A TAG, F/F, Gen, M/M, Multi, Mush is a little shit, Opium Bagels, Spot has thicc arms pass it on, aftermath of Dragons and Men, but race is an even bigger little shit, chaotic gay energy, i'm updating these tags as i update the fic so yeah, is that a thing?, mentions of being a daddy, possibly ace les???, race isn't high anymore, revenge kidnapping?, spot is daddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-11-09 09:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17999240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_dying_inside/pseuds/im_dying_inside
Summary: After being kidnapped by dragons, tortured, and rescued by his friends, Racetrack Higgins is tired. But more importantly, he's up in the mountains with no fast way of getting home.Now that everyone's reunited, they'll have to deal with the aftermath of Race and Crutchie's tortures. Some will cry, some will kiss, and some will swear excessively.





	1. It's Bonding Time Let's Go And Bond (over our friend's serious injuries)

**Author's Note:**

> WHATS UP NUNCHUCKS IM BACKKKK  
> this is the second portion of Teenagers and Quests that isn't a oneshot. it's just gonna be the journey home, and then we yeet ourselves into the 'sequel'. although at this point it's probably a trilogy. 
> 
> and as always...,.,.,.,  
> enjoy or dont bc we support free thinking

For a while, Albert had given up hope that Race was alive. As he sat in the cave, waiting for the rescue mission to come back, he kept doubting himself. There wasn’t any way to figure out if he was alive or not. It scared Albert, not knowing what would happen after they came back. So he sat there, waiting for his boyfriend to return.

After what seemed like hours, Finch finally walked through the cave. Albert ran over and almost gave him a hug. “Babe, where’s Race…” Albert said, before letting his fear get the best of him, “Oh G-d, did they get him? He’s dead, ain’t he!” He needed a hug, now. But Finch refused. Albert was just about ready to pull a Mush and start kissing his boyfriend when he saw him.

“Hiya Albie,” Race said, holding his arms out for a hug. Albert obliged, and practically threw himself into the embrace. Race’s arms were warm, they always were. Race, bending down ever so slightly, buried his head in Albert’s neck. Ignoring all of their friends' cheers, the two friends kept hugging.

It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of Albert’s chest, seeing Race again. He pulled back from the hug, and actually looked at Race for the first time. His normal curly blonde hair was a darker color, matted to his head, and stained with red. And his eyes… they had no light in them. It scared Albert, to see his friend like this.

“Don’t do that ever again,” Albert said, dead serious. “Ya scared the hell outta me!”

Race sighed, and leaned into Albert, “It scared the hell outta me too! I was the one who got kidnapped for Christ’s Sake!” Race exclaimed. That’s when Albert noticed the weariness in his voice, the way that Race was swaying ever so slightly. Without saying a single word, Albert directed Race over to a small area of the cave.

Normally, Race would cause a big fuss and refuse to let Albert help him out. But the prince was so tired that he laid down without Albert saying anything. He didn’t even have to bribe him! Although this greatly concerned Albert, he kept preparing to clean Race’s wounds. They really wouldn’t be that bad, would they? There’d only be a few, and he could clean them with water.

“So, Racer, ya wanna tell me what the hell happened ta ya?” Albert said, trying to keep the conversation light.  
Race, who was about as sleep deprived as a teenager in the 21st century, just nodded. “A lot, Albo…” he murmured, slowly nodding his head. “A lot happened ta me. Ya wanna know what Pulitzer did? He...” Race trailed off, eyes slowly closing.

Even though Albert wanted to know what had happened, he also knew that he couldn’t put off his task any longer. Taking a deep breath, he peeled Race’s nightshirt back and screamed. “Dios Mio!” he screamed, waking Race up. He also caught the attention of everyone else in the cave. “Uh… everything’s fine o’er here, guys!” Albert said, trying to finger gun the awkward situation away.

“Y’know, I knows first aid too,” a voice said, pronouncing ‘first’ like ‘foist’. Albert saw that the new kid was crutching his way over to Race. “I can helps ya out,” he added. “Plus, I knows everythin’ bout what happened.” The kid continued limping all the way over to Race, before looking at Albert. “D’ya want the whole story or tha fast one?” he asked.

Race, who woke up as soon as Albert screamed, lifted his head slightly and stared at both of the boys. “Tell ‘em tha whole thing, we’se got more ‘n enough time.” The prince lowered his head again but didn’t close his eyes.

“I’se okay wit’ da whole thing, if you is,” Albert suggested, before reaching in his sack to grab a circular piece of bread, sprinkled with poppy seeds. Finch had stolen it from the Dragon’s Den and given it to Albert. “This’ll help ‘em sleep while I works on ‘em.” Race lifted his head and ate some of the bread. After a few seconds, he was out flat. Though, nobody will know if it was the opium or the lack of sleep that caused him to fall asleep so fast. Both boys laughed at Race’s snoring, knowing how bad it could get. “So…” Albert started, looking at the new boy, “Who are ya?”

“Crutchie Morris, at yer service,” the boy said, giving a rather dramatic fake bow. “I was Race’s prisoner wit’ ‘im. But not really.” Albert tilted his head in confusion, looking a bit like a lost puppy. “Well, does ya want tha short story or tha long one?” Crutchie asked.

“Long one, we’se got time,” Albert responded, before turning to his unconscious friend. “I’se is glad there was opium, otherwise he’d be in a lot of pain right now,” Albert remarked, slipping the shirt off of Race. Slowly, he began to work on cleaning Race’s back with water, getting rid of the dirt.

Crutchie, who is amazing at social clues, took a seat on the ground. “Ya ready fer tha story?” Crutchie asked. Albert didn’t even look up from Race’s back, but he nodded. “So it all started ’fore I knows it was happenin’. My bruddas went ta Manhattan wit’out me, an’ I jus’ ignored ‘em…”

While Crutchie was spilling the proverbial beans to his new friend, Albert was cleaning Race’s back. It was possibly the most terrifying thing he’d ever done. Or seen. Race’s back was red, with angry, raised lines across his flesh. As Crutchie told him about the tortures Race survived, Albert couldn’t help but cry.

“I coulda saved ‘im sooner!” Albert exclaimed, gesturing wildly. Of course, this caused Finch to be on Albert-Alert, which meant that Finch was joining the storytime circle. Albert turned to Romeo, who was talking with Specs. Or was he flirting? The world will never know. “If ya hadn’t kidnapped us, we coulda saved Race sooner, puta!” Albert screamed at Romeo.

Romeo stepped back at the small outburst. Then, his face went eerily calm, as he gave Albert a long, slow smile. “It ain’t my fault that y’all like to trespass on my property. Y’all should consider yerselves lucky, compared t’ what I’se done to them others,” Romeo retorted, before turning back to Specs. Albert scoffed and looked at Crutchie.

“Continue, if ya don’t mind,” Albert said, gesturing to Crutchie. As the boy continued his story, the rest of the group started to come over to them. Eventually, they were all circled around Crutchie, Albert, and a very unconscious Race. Albert had started to wrap the wounds with gauze while listening to Crutchie’s stories.

Crutchie was all into the story now, even acting out characters. Hell, he’d given some of them different accents than others. “An’ then Pulitzer was all like ‘don’t call me your father’!” Crutchie said, his voice lowering on Pulitzer’s part. “What a jerkbutt, amiright?” he asked the group. Everyone cheered because they all had some form of beef with Pulitzer. Even the fairies had bones to pick with the King.

“The fucker took our lands!” Mush cried, getting very upset. “Blink an’ I had a real lovely farm out in Brook Land! We was living on tha land, all cute-like, but then Pulitzer took it away from us!” Mush dramatically fell into Blink’s lap and began to kiss the smaller boy. Everyone groaned as the two inched further and further from first base.

Buttons, who had his hands over Elmer’s eyes again, told them to get a room. Unfortunately, the cave didn’t have any rooms, which meant that Blink and Mush’s Makeout Session Supreme™ was happening in front of everyone. Luckily, after Smalls started asking Spot about how babies are made, the two stopped.

Spot definitely didn’t give Smalls a high five, because she definitely didn’t know about how babies are made, because Medda definitely didn’t give them the talk at the same time. Totally.

When Crutchie finally finished his story, it was nighttime. Simultaneously, everyone’s stomachs started to growl. It was rather loud. In fact, it was so loud that it woke Race up from his drug-induced nap. “Wh a t the fuc k is up guysss?” Race slurred, sounding like a very drunk version of Jack.

“The sky, dumbass,” Albert responded, ignoring the glares from his friends. Race laughed and stood up.

“Th’nks Albo… ya always knows w-what ta… what ta say...,” Race stuttered, before falling back on the ground. Everyone stared at him for a few seconds, before turning to Spot. Spot shrugged at them, not really knowing why they were staring at him. It seemed like they had all decided to make Spot the leader of the group… without telling him.

Which wasn’t a very convenient situation for Spot, but he didn’t really mind. “Okay guys, who wants ta raid tha Dragons Den?” Spot asked the group. When they responded with some cheers, Spot pivoted towards the exit. Then he pivoted back, grabbed Race's arm, and pivoted a third time. “Field Trip time everybody! Grab a buddy, and don't lose them!” Spot said, wiggling Race's arm for emphasis. Spot motioned to Crutchie. "Ya ready ta lead us?" he asked the shorter boy. 

Crutchie gave a mock salute, “You gots it, boss,” Crutchie said, a twinkle in his eyes. Everyone else started to pair up, mostly going with their respective boy/girlfriends. While they were standing next to each other, Jack and Davey realized how smitten they were with Crutchie, but they both decided to deal with that in a later chapter… of their lives. As Crutchie walked ahead of the group, Jack and Davey ran up to walk next to him. “Hiya guys, what’s up?” Crutchie asked the two boys.

“Oh… uh…” Jack started, his face growing redder than Albert’s hair, “Um… we just… uh… Davey?”

“Oh, we just wanted to talk with you. You seemed like a nice enough fellow,” Davey said. Crutchie gave a rather slow nod. It was the type of nod that said ‘you’re insane, aren’t you?’. “Also… uh…”

“He has long legs!” Jack interrupted. Davey stared at his boyfriend. “Yeah, Davey has real long legs, almost like sticks. He needs ta move fast or he falls over!” Jack said, gesturing wildly at Davey’s legs.

Crutchie just stared at the two of them again, not falling for whatever prank they were going to pull on him. Little did he know that they were only crushing on him. “Huh… I didn’t know that long legs can cause you to fall over. Weird…” Crutchie said, walking into the Dragon’s Den. Snyder’s body was still on the cave floor. For all he knew, the spider was probably dead. “Here we is, home sweet home…”


	2. Giving People Opium Bagels Causes Them To Act Weird (how the heck did you not know that)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race is high for most of the chapter, Spot is a whole-hearted mood, Mush is a little shit, and Davey is unbearably Jewish. 
> 
> TW: Swear Words, Mentions Of Consuming Bagels Topped With Opium, Possible Daddy Kink? (lol no), Smoke Bombs and Disappointed Jewish Boyfriends
> 
> ALSO: jack/davey/crutchie is beginning!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *i'm alive from next to normal playing*  
> SUP YALL IM NOT DEAD I SWEAR  
> it took me too l o n g to write this chapter i stg but im here  
> honestly this chapter just shows how much my writing quality has decreased.  
> Real Talk Time: i was struggling for a lil bit ngl but im here now and back in the game (back to the trial) and im going back in my sTYLEEEE  
> as always: enjoy or dont..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

It was becoming glaringly obvious that Racetrack Higgins was high. In fact, he was so high that he could be classified as ‘hella high’. This, of course, was being shown through the prince’s reaction to the spider corpse inside of the Dragon’s Den.

Normally, when you encounter the dead body of your former tormentor, you’d be indifferent. Perhaps you’d even be happy. But Race was over here breaking some extremely low standards. The man was on the ground, next to the spider corpse, sobbing his damn heart out.

“Why’s ‘e dead?” Race cried, looking at both Snyder’s body and Crutchie. “Wake up Spidah, you gots to!” he screamed. Spot and Crutchie both looked at each other, putting their fingers on their noses. Almost as if they were saying ‘not it’ to each other. Unfortunately for Spot, Crutchie put his finger on his nose first.

Begrudgingly, Spot trudged over to Race. He picked up the crying boy into a bridal style carry, both surprised and angry at how light Race was. “C’mon, let’s get you back,” Spot muttered to Race. “It wasn’t smart ‘a me ta letcha come.”

“No it wasn’t,” a voice said, eerily close to Spot’s ear. Spot turned around, to see a very disappointed Albert. “Take ‘em back, he’s all drugged up,” Albert said, motioning to Race. Currently, Race was stroking Spot’s biceps, murmuring to them. “He’s gettin’ thirsty.”

“Thirsty?” Spot asked. “Why didn’t ya say so! We coulda got ‘em water ages ago!”

Albert shook his head. “Oh, my sweet, sweet summer child. Just… get him back to the cave…” he paused, “And take Mush, he an’ Blink are freaking Elmer out.”

Elmer nodded his head because apparently, he’d been standing behind Albert the whole time. Spot hadn’t seen him before, he just… appeared. Standing next to the sunny gardener was a very pissed off Mush. Spot did not want to deal with a pissed off Mush. Well, to be fair… nobody wants to deal with a pissed off Mush.

“Why don’t Elmer come back ‘stead?” Spot demanded, confused by all of Albert’s cryptic statements. And Race was _still_ stroking his biceps!

Albert sighed, clearly annoyed with Spot’s endless questioning. “Elmer don’t wanna leave Buttons, an’ Buttons don’t wanna leave the cave. Plus, everyone’s gettin sick o’ their kissin,” Albert explained before dropping a smoke bomb on the ground. “BYE!” As Spot coughed, Albert moonwalked into the cave and hid behind Finch. Finch sighed and pretended to ‘hide’ Albert from Spot. Spot also sighed, because it seemed like everyone was sighing, and Spot always wanted to be a cool kid.

Spot turned to Mush and patted the fairy on the back. “You’re not my real boyfriend!” Mush scream-cried. “You’ll never be like Blinky!” The fairy started stomping off towards the safe cave, leaving Spot with Race. Who he was still carrying. And he was still stroking Spot’s bicep.

“Bitch, was I trying to be Blink? No, I wasn’t. So shut the fuck up!” Spot shouted at Mush, his patience wearing thin. Spot looked at Race, who was in his arms. “Why are ya strokin’ my bicep like a cat?” Spot asked the prince. Race giggled, before booping Spot on the nose.

“Silly Spotty. Hey, I likes that nickname! Silly Spotty! That’s you!” Race said in between bouts of laughter. “Yer arms are real thick, an’ I guess I likes ‘em! I also likes cigars, magic tricks an’...” the prince trailed off, trying to remember something. “An’ you I guesses!” Spot didn’t even have time to respond before Race launched off into another mini-ramble. “Ya saved me from tha’ Spidah, me an’ Crutch. I likes Crutch too, but I likes you a lot more…” And he was out cold.

From inside the cave, Mush called out to Spot. “Hurry the fuck up!” At the mention of a bad word, Davey’s Swearey Sense flared, and he ran out of the Dragon’s Den. Slowly, he turned to stare at Mush. “Sorry Davey,” Mush apologized, before looking at Spot again, “Hurry the _heck_ up!” he screamed.

Like a true master of retorts, Spot raised his right finger and flipped him off. In return, Mush flipped Spot off. So Davey flipped both of them off, before turning back to the Dragon’s Den.

As Spot walked back to the cave, Race slipped in and out of consciousness. His head would raise, and he’d mumble a few words, and then his head would fall again. Spot didn’t know if this was because of the various injuries Race acquired, or the opium. Hopefully, it was the opium.

Walking into the cave, Spot was greeted with the sight of Mush sitting in a corner, arms crossed. He looked like a child who had just been sent to a timeout for saying bad words. “I’se sorry fer yellin’ at ya,” Mush said, before looking at Race. “Holy shi— shoot… is he okay?”

“I hopes so,” Spot said, laying Race on the floor. “He looks half dead, but I thinks that’s tha opium talkin’.” Race wasn’t letting go of Spot’s bicep. “Race, let go!” Spot muttered, trying to pry the fingers off of his arm. “Lemme go!”

Race just cackled like the maniacal little bitch he is. “Never!” he cried, digging his fingernails into Spot’s arm. “They’re too thick, and I’m too gay!” Spot groaned, exasperated with Race’s behavior. “You know…”

“What?”

“You’re kinda cute… y’know, you could be a daddy...”

“What the fuck is a daddy, Race?” Spot demanded, looking at Mush. The fairy was covering his mouth, trying not to laugh, but he was failing. “Mush, what’s a daddy?”

Mush held his hands up in surrender, “Don’ ask me,” Mush said from his place on the ground. He must have fallen over while he was laughing. “Ask him!” But Spot didn’t want to ask Race, given Mush’s reaction. Regretting all of his decisions, Spot placed Race on the ground. Luckily, Race flopped around, like a dead fish. It is important to note that Race is not actually a dead fish, he just looked like one.

Spot sighed and looked at Mush. “When are tha rest gettin’ back?” Spot asked. Mush shrugged and walked away. “Fuckin’ arsehole,” Spot said under his breath. Mush continued walking, which was good. He didn’t hear Spot curse him out. “Alright, what do I do now?” Spot asked himself.

“I know what you can do,” a voice said behind him, “CONSUME! SOME! SUSTENANCE!” Spot flinched and pivoted around. It was the rest of the quest. Romeo was on Specs’ shoulders, waving around a baguette, and screaming. “Let’s eat!” he added, before hopping off of Specs’ shoulders and gracefully landing on the ground.

Soon enough, Spot was surrounded by all of his friends, holding food. They’d managed to find a whole meal in the cave, which was extremely fortunate. The group sat in a large circle around a fire, almost ready to eat, when…

“Wait!” Davey shouted as everyone stared at him. “Food down, it’s Friday night!” he exclaimed. Nobody responded, except for a very embarrassed Les smacking his head with his hand. “It’s Shabbos…” It was at that moment that everyone remembered that Davey, Les, and Sarah were Jewish. And more importantly, how did they forget?

Jack stood up and ran over to Davey. “Yeah, it’s Shabbos…” he paused. Uh oh. “Wait… babe…what’s Shabbos?” Everyone collectively facepalmed and rolled their eyes. Davey just sighed and ignored his boyfriend. “Babe?” Jack said, tilting his head like a puppy.

Through some miracle, Davey didn’t cave to Jack’s Ultimate Puppy Dog Face. “Let’s go, Hamotzi time,” he said, motioning to Les. “You wanna do it, Les?”

“Ughh…. fine…” Les groaned, portraying the angsty tween very well. “Smalls, you know it?” he asked his friend. She nodded, and he beckoned for her to come up. “I ain’t doin’ this alone,” Les added, before grabbing a piece of bread. Smalls repeated the action, and they began to chant.

 _**“Baruch atah Adonai,** _  
_**Eloheinu Melech ha’olam** _  
_**Hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz** _  
_**Amen,”** _

Smalls and Les took bites of their bread and sat back down. Everyone looked at the two kids with confused faces. Jojo was the first to speak up. Of course, it did help that he was Catholic born and raised. “I’se sorry, but what language was that?” he asked.

“Hebrew. Now eat,” Sarah said, motioning to the food. Sarah sat down next to Katherine, and looked at her girlfriend. “Y’know, you’re awfully pretty near the firelight,” Sarah said, causing Katherine to blush. "Like... really pretty, babe..."

That’s when everyone decided to be romantic to their lovers. Blink and Mush, as expected, were already kissing. Elmer and Buttons were holding hands, Specs and Romeo were so intertwined that they were practically a single entity. Finch had both Papes and Albert leaning in his lap, his hands running through both hair and feathers. Davey, Jack, and Crutchie were talking, and by the looks of it, also flirting.

Which left Smalls, Les, and Spot. Of course, Race was also there, but he was passed out on the ground, which doesn't really count. Simultaneously, the three shortest members of the quest exchanged glances. Slowly, they began to head out of the cave, stifling laughter.

“I’se is never dating,” Les said, deadly serious. “That’s disgusting. All of it,” he added, sticking his tongue out. “Smalls, promise me ya won’t start dating anytime soon?”

Smalls nodded but mouthed the word “no” at Spot. Luckily, Spot knew the rule that snitches get stitches, which meant that Smalls was safe… for now.

The three of them continued to walk along the path that led to the Dragon’s Den. Maybe they could find shelter there, where nobody was kissing. But as soon as they walked in, they saw something that none of them were expecting. Smalls barely stifled a gasp, and Les grabbed her hand. It was something the two of them did whenever Smalls felt nervous.

Spot stepped in front of the two kids and whispered to them. “If things go south, run. Whatever happens, run, an’ get someone. Don’t worry ‘bout me,” he said, giving the two kids a comforting pat. They both nodded, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to save Spot, even if they tried. Turning back to face the cave, Spot puffed out his shoulders. “Morris Delancey!” he shouted, grinning to himself as the dragon flinched. “What a surprise!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.......DIDJA LIKE IT???????? (pls do i might cry if u dont)  
> some news: i saw mean girls WITH the legends themselves: Ben Tyler Cook, Demarius Copes and Iain Young!!!! (not flexing im just still in a state of shockk)  
> race might have a daddy kink ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)..........he might not. but i dont write smut, so we'll never find out. also it was hella hard not to write 'thicc' whenever describing spot's arms, bc they are thicc. but i also have a lil bit of integrity so i wrote thick. pls 4give me 4 my sins.  
> heres a lil glimpse at the future: smalls def meets sniper and they fall in love, but that won't happen for a while. les is either going to be the only st8 dood, or ace... but again, he's like... almost 10, im not shipping him anytime soon
> 
> (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ ρҽαƈҽ συƚ Ⴆσყ ʂƈσυƚʂ ♥


	3. You Honestly Thought You Could Show Up And Not Get Smacked? (you really should know better at this point)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morris Delancey's back, and more pathetic than ever! Also featuring more chaos as Race continues to call Spot a daddy. 
> 
> TW: Kink Mention (that isn't real), Bad Words, Revenge Kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha suPRISE IM ALIVE  
> sup its me carly  
> a lot of things have happened while i've been away, more specifically, the three mental breakdowns i've had. but don't worry, i'm doing much better now. i was gonna continue this chapter, but switching times between chapters is NOT my forte, so it's just a short chapter. the next one will probably be the last one. 
> 
> Also: i reposted the chapter bc it was saying it was posted a while ago and then i messed things up so repost time
> 
> and as alwasy
> 
> njoy or dont u are a strong person who can make your own choices

“What the actual fuck are ya doin’ in my cave?” Morris demanded, stomping over to Spot. “Why’re ya here? Think trespassin’s funny, huh?” the dragon asked, getting closer to Spot with each word. It took all of Spot’s inner control to not back away from the smell of Morris’s breath. Instead, he just chuckled, still holding his ground. “Huh, yer a real wise guy, ain’tcha? Well, I’se tougher!”

Spot just stared at Morris blankly, like he was speaking another language. This only served to infuriate the dragon more, and Morris moved his arm to punch Spot. But Spot was faster, smarter, and hotter. Moving out of the way, Spot did what any dignified adult would do. He stuck out his tongue at Morris.

“I’se a real simple man, Morris,” Spot began, kicking Morris in the gut. “I don’t need a lot ta get by, y’know what I mean?” Morris groaned, taking the hit like a chump. “I jus’ don’ like it when people beat up princes… or siblings.”

“Stop talkin’ bullshit, Spot,” Morris spat out, knees on the ground. He stopped for a second, before putting something on his hands. “Which is why I’se real glad Ossie made me take ‘is brass knuckles.”

The dragon started punching blindly towards Spot, not looking to see if he made direct contact. He didn’t, which allowed Spot to step off to the side. As much as Spot liked a good rumble, Morris wasn’t really a good match for him. But Morris didn’t need to know that.

It should be noted that Morris has terrible fighting form, and was aiming much higher than needed. Of course, Spot Conlon is extremely tiny, but Morris was punching at least a foot above Spot’s head. .

“Morris… bud…” Spot said, concerned for the dragon, who now looked like he was constipated. “Buddy, has you actually fought against someone who isn’t bound?”

Morris scowled, and spit on the ground. “Aww, shut it Conlon. You’se is just scared o’ me,” Morris said, with false bravado.

“No, I’m scared for you. Dude, stop this…” Spot held his hands up, signifying defeat. Except, he wasn’t defeated. “Just… stop fightin, yer gonna hurt yerself real bad.” The dragon growled, but stopped punching at the air. “If ya come wit’ me, we can fix this…”

Finally, Morris realized that it was pointless. Spot was right. Slowly walking over to the human, Morris slipped off his brass knuckles. “Ya fer real?” he asked, trying not to get his hopes up.

Spot nodded, and Morris continued walking closer to Spot. He had nearly reached the boy, when Spot screamed at the top of his lungs “SIKE BITCH!”

Three people jumped out from behind Spot. It was Albert, Jack and Davey. How Davey managed to hide behind Spot? Nobody really knows.

What they do know is the way Albert rammed into Morris like a battering ram. “Bitch you don’t fuckin mess with Race or I’se gonna kill ya,” Albert said, punching Morris in the throat. “Oh wait, ya did mess wit’ Race! Looks like I will be killin’ ya!”

Davey joined in with his magic, grabbing Morris’s arms, while screaming “For Crutchie!” Jack also tried to join in, grabbing a paint brush, and tickling the dragon with it. Spot tried not to laugh at Jack’s pathetic attempt at fighting, and instead focused on high-fiving Smalls and Les.

“Good job you two!” he said, double fist bumping the two children. “This’ll make my plans a lot easier.” And with that, Spot grabbed a length of rope, and walked over to the fight area. He stepped past the three boys, and grabbed Morris’s arms. “This… this is fer Race,” Spot said, while binding Morris’s arms.

Morris groaned in agony, but nobody paid him any attention. In fact, Smalls ran over with a strip of cloth to tie around Morris’s mouth. Instead, Spot put the cloth over Morris’s eyes. Kind of like what Morris had done with Race at the very beginning.

The large Revenge For Race And Crutchie group made their way to the Safe Cave, Morris in tow. As soon as they walked into the cave, everyone cheered. Lovers reunited, and more importantly, Race was finally standing up.

“Albo? Spotty?” Race asked, tilting his head like a golden retriever. “Where’d ya go— oh…” he looked at Morris. “Why’d ya do that?” he said, walking over to Spot. “Spotty, it ain’t nice ta kidnap people.” He was still high. Great.

Spot sighed, and ignored Race, leading Morris over to a small area of the cave. “We ain’t kidnappin’ em, we’se… uh… Albert help me out here…”

“We’se helpin’ ‘em discover ‘is kinks!” Albert unhelpfully added. Race, who has the maturity of a 13 year old boy, started laughing. “Yeah, ‘e told us ta tie ‘em up, an’ whip ‘em!” Albert continued, ignoring the glares from everyone else in the cave.

Simultaneously, Elmer, Smalls and Les turned around to stare at Davey. In an almost creepy fashion, the three of them asked “What’s a kink, Davey?” Davey flipped off Albert.

Race nodded, because that was clearly what was happening. In a very serious tone, he looked at Albert and said, “If ‘e wants a Daddy, ‘e should try Spot,” Everyone burst out into a sort of wheezing laughter, while Spot looked like he wanted to die. “Albo, am I right? Wouldn’t Spot be a good Daddy?”

“Sure Racer,” Albert responded, herding his friend away from Spot and Morris. “Let’s get ya to bed,”

Spot, who was looking to recover himself from that incident, turned to the rest of the gang. “Alright, let’s all get to bed. Tomorrow, we head back to the castle,”

Slowly but surely, everyone headed to separate areas of the cave, to fall asleep. As Davey made checks around the cave to make sure that people were calming down, Spot motioned for him to come over. “Dave, I ain’t a Daddy, right?” Spot whispered, sounding rather insecure.

“No, you aren’t. Now, get some sleep, Spot,” Davey assured the shorter boy. Spot nodded, and curled into a ball. Davey walked across the cave, to Morris Delancey. Untying the dragon’s binds, Davey helped him situate into a slightly more comfortable position. Then, Davey tied Morris’s in a better position. “I’ll talk to them about possible rehabilitations for you, Morris,” Davey said.

Morris nearly cried at those words. It was the first time someone had shown him compassion in a while. “Really?” he asked, his voice breaking. “I swear I ain’t all bad, just a little rough. Couldja do one thing fer me, though?”

“What?”

“Tell Crutchie that I do love ‘em, no matter how shitty I’se been in the past. Tell ‘em that ‘e don’t gotta forgive me or nothin, he just needs ta know that I still care fer ‘em.”

“Sure thing, buddy…” Davey said, walking back to his spot near Sarah, Katherine, Jack and Crutchie. “I’ll tell ‘em…”

With those words, Davey shut his eyes, and fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just checked the comments oml i havent responded to like half of you and im sorry but im too anxious to respond now so im sorry for not responding to u but i love u all <3
> 
> ᵖᵉᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵇᵒʸ ˢᶜᵒᵘᵗˢ


	4. Oh Look I'm Not Drugged Anymore (wait i did that while i was high?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race is finally sober after his incident with the opium bagel, and now has to deal with the consequences of his drugged-up self's actions. It ain't pretty. 
> 
> TW: Swear Words, Slightly Less Daddy Mentions, An Extremely Stereotypical Romantic Ending, Characters Going Meta Without Thinking About The Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DONT HAVE A CONSISTENT UPLOADING SCHEDULE ANYMORE BUT IM OKAY WITH THAT  
> hi boyscouts (i feel like a youtuber when i say that) i'm back!!!  
> this chapter took me a lil while to write bc i wanted to wrap the story up with four chapters. i know that's what i promised y'all... but since i'm absolutely horrible at planning, there'll be one more chapter.   
> i was absolutely slammed with homework and then all of my friends had birthdays on the same weekend so i've been gettin out and about and its scary but also fun. 
> 
> aS aLwAyS eNJoY OR dOnT because i understand that my writing style isn't for everyone

Being woken up by a sharp finger to the forehead is not fun. Especially if you’re nursing a multiple day hangover from an opium bagel. Unfortunately, that’s what happened to Racetrack Higgins, the resident chaotic, dumbass twink. “BITCH!” he screamed, a direct result from his rude awakening. He didn’t sit up though, he knew he was too tired. 

Standing in front of him was his best friend since forever, Albert DaSilva. Also known as that asshole. “Hey, Al?” Race asked, still lying down. “Fuck you.” Like all teenage boys, Race flipped Albert off. 

“Wouldn’t ya rather fuck Spot?” Albert retorted, “Ya did call ‘em a daddy like… fifty million times,” 

That’s what got Race off of the ground. His back was still healing from his small visit with the Delancey’s, but he didn’t care. His crush on Spot had been revealed. “Wait… when did that happen?” he asked, rather confused. “Did you drug me again?” he demanded, poking a finger into Albert’s chest. 

“Wait… again?” a voice said. Race whipped around to see none other than Davey Jacobs. Of course, Race didn’t know Albert… oh fuck. While Race was having a small existential crisis, Davey walked closer to Albert. “Have you drugged him before?”

Albert shrugged like the petty asshole he is and looked at Race. The former prince of Manhattan was on the ground, curled up into a ball. “Shit shit shit shit…” Race was whispering to himself. Raising his head slowly and melodramatically, Race stared at Davey. “So I guesses youse know my secret now,” Race said, referring to the day job he kept hidden from Davey and Jack: being the prince. 

“What? That you were a prince?” Davey asked. When Race nodded, Davey burst out into laughter. “Dude, we figured that out back in like… chapter nine!” He really shouldn’t have gone meta, especially since Race was still nursing an opium bagel hangover. But he did. 

Race stared at Davey, feeling his very life force leave the body. “Chapter Nine? What is this, a fucking book?” he screamed, drawing the attention of several others. Little did he know his entire was actually a fanfiction written by a 16-year-old girl.“Who else is here?” he added, thoroughly exasperated with his friends. 

Romeo, who Race didn’t know, skipped up to Race’s face, coming extremely close. “Well, there’s me, Specs, Blink, Mush, Jojo, Buttons, Smalls, Jack, Albert but you already know that…” he took a very long breath and continued, “Finch, Elmer, Davey, Sarah, Les, Crutchie, Spot and Katherine…”

“Wait… who are you?” Race asked, staring at Romeo. Before the fairy could continue, Race interrupted himself. “Was Kath wit’ ya durin the rescue? Is youse a fairy? Holy shit that’s so cool!” Race said while reaching his hands towards Romeo’s wings.

Obviously, Romeo smacked Race’s hands away, still maintaining eye contact. “I’se is Romeo. Yes, I’se a fairy. Don’t fuckin’ touch my wings again, ya got it?” Race nodded, looking a bit sad that he couldn’t touch the wings. “Now, we’se gotta get back home, ‘specially you!”

Race froze, his face turning pale. Slowly, he looked at Crutchie, then back at Romeo. Then back at Crutchie, who motioned for Race to look at Spot. “Uhh… my dad don’t want me no more…” he muttered, not looking at anyone. Katherine nudged her way next to her brother. 

“It doesn’t matter if he wants you, Tonio. I want you back,” she said, putting a hand on his arm. He sighed, and looked at her, taking in her tired appearance. For the first time, Race saw what hell she’d been put through. He thought it was because he’d been kidnapped. He thought it was his fault. Plus, it’d be a hell of a lot easier to pretend to be fine, go back, and run away.   
Race swallowed, and looked directly into Katherine’s brown eyes, trying to ignore the bags underneath them. “Let’s go.” 

When he said those two words, it was like he’d pressed a button. Everyone started working on different things. There was a purple carriage, with a shiny, blue glimmer surrounding it. Spot and Jojo were tossing items into a cart, throwing things around like they were feathers. Smalls and Les were nearby, trying to help as much as they could. 

Elmer and Buttons were hunched over clothes, mending the ripped fabric. That’s when Race realized that he was wearing a new shirt. Walking over to the duo, he looked at what Buttons was sewing. His old nightshirt. “Hey, it’s Buttons, right?” Race asked, not wanting to get any names wrong. The fairy nodded but didn’t reply verbally. “What’re ya doin’ with my shirt? Who’s shirt is this?” he asked.

“Well, Buttons here is sewin’ up the rips an’ tears so he can save the shirt for fabric. The new shirt’s from Davey. He magicked it up fer ya late at night,” Elmer responded, doing the talking for Buttons. He could tell he wasn’t wanted, so Race nodded and walked away from the pair. Only, he had nowhere else to go.

Luckily, he felt a tug at his sleeve. Turning around, he saw the little girl that Jack sometimes hung around. “Hey kiddo, what’s up?” he asked her. She pouted and pointed to Les. 

“He’s tellin me that you an’ Spot ain’t gonna date!” she exclaimed, rather upset by the whole ordeal. Race tried to stop himself from choking on his own spit but failed miserably. “Hey, mister? Ya doin’ okay?” the girl asked, looking at Race in shock. He gave her a thumbs up. “So…” she trailed off. 

“So what, pipsqueak?” Race responded.

“Are ya gonna date Spotty or not?” she nearly shouted, waving her arms around. 

“Why d’you care?” Race retorted, growing rather tired with the girl. 

“He’s my brother, ‘long wit’ Jack!” she slowly explained. “I’se is Smalls,” she added, sticking out a hand for Race to shake. Begrudgingly, he took it and shook with the girl. “Y’know, I thinks Spotty likes you too!” she added in her childlike innocence. 

Race chuckled and ruffled her hair. “Thanks, kiddo, that helps a whole lot,” he said. He was being honest too! Knowing that there was even the slightest chance that Spot loved him… it made Race’s gay little heart speed up. Smalls smiled, and walked away from Race, leaving him alone once again. 

Although, with a group of nearly twenty people, it’s rather hard to be left alone for long. He wandered around for a few seconds, before literally running into Morris. Honestly, Race had forgotten that he was there. He was still tied up, but comfier than before. The two of them stared at each other for at least a minute, both refusing to blink. Finally, Morris broke the silence. 

“I know there ain’t no way you’se forgivin’ me, an’ that’s okay…” he started, almost looking afraid of Race. “But I do want ya to know that I is sorry. For everythin.” The way he’d said it was so final, so resigned. Race almost didn’t believe him, but the look in Morris’s eyes said everything. 

Putting a hand on Morris’ arm as a friendly gesture, Race maintained eye contact. “Thank you,” he said. He didn’t want to forgive Morris just yet, but he could accept the apology. There’s a slight difference between the two. “You’se is right, in a way. It’ll take me a hell of a long time to forgive ya. But if ya proves it, and ya puts in the effort wit’ Crutchie, maybe one day.” The dragon nodded, a bit teary eyed. 

“Alrighty-o fuckers!” someone screamed from the front of the cave. “Time to yippee-ki-yay the fuck out of here!” And Race knew it was Jack. He heard someone else briefly admonish Jack. “If yer a fairy, or wanna get off wit’ the fairies, get in the carriage wit’ Romeo an’ the rest!” he screamed. 

Race looked at Morris. “What’re we doin’ wit’ you?” Race asked. Luckily, Davey came over at that very moment, scissors in hand. 

“Morris, can I trust you to be released?” Davey asked, giving Morris’ a motherly “have you learned your lesson?” look. Morris nodded and shifted his body so Davey could access the ropes. “Come back to the castle when you’ve learned your lesson, maybe you and Charlie can fix things,” Davey added. Within a few seconds, Morris was out of the cave. “Come on,” Davey said to Race, “Let’s go home.” 

The two boarded the carriage containing Sarah, Jack, Crutchie, Smalls, Spot, Les, Finch and Albert. Davey sat next to Crutchie and Jack, while Race sat next to… Spot. From across the carriage, Smalls gave him an aggressive wink, along with a few hand motions. 

“Hey,” Spot said. 

“Hey,” Race replied. 

“We need to talk.” 

“Obviously.” 

The carriage started up, and everyone started doing their own separate things. Race and Spot looked at each other, and at the rest of the carriage. “I think we’ll have time to figure everything out,” Spot said, looking out the window. “It seems like we’re plenty far from the castle.”

“I don’t know,” Race replied, “When I came here, I was in a sack.” 

"That seems to beat my story. Although being held hostage by fairies isn't a walk in the park either." The two of them laughed softly, letting the rest of the world fall away. 

Race nodded and looked into Spot's brown eyes. "Well I was kidnapped by dragons, so try an' beat that!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iM SORRY FOR SUCH A SAPPY ENDING BUT I FELT IT WAS NECESSARY  
> also: smalls' bluntness is lowkey based off my kiddos who i work with   
> also also: morris will have a redemption arc, but it's gonna take a while, because morris isn't a complete piece of shit who expects people to forgive him immediately. he's probs gonna take a break, come back and join the others in the next story. 
> 
> 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕓𝕠𝕪 𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕤


	5. Y'all Can We Please Go Home Soon? (im getting really tired)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone finally leaves the Dragons Den, Katherine's a good sister and Spot is a good boyfriend.
> 
> TW: Swear Words, Unashamed PDA (not from Blush though), Abandonment For A Better Life In The Woods WIth A Fairy Boyfriend, Abuse and Brutal Mistaken Identity Of The Word "Hypocrite", Betrayal (or is it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup my boyscouts its ya girl carly
> 
> this is the actual last chapter of the journey home 
> 
> *karen voice from sexy* i did it
> 
> this chapter was a d00zy to write bc it went though like... an entire day's worth of travel in a short period of time but i think i made it work  
> somewhat decently
> 
> ALsO: There is one definite Mean Girls: The Musical reference in here (lil hint its from id rather be me)
> 
> uhmmmmm enjooyyyy or donnnttt my dooodddsss

To Race, it felt like he and Spot had been talking for hours on end. In reality, it’d only been half a day. He’d only realized it when the carriage pulled over, and everyone else got out. “Who was drivin’ the whole time?” he asked his boyfriend, who shrugged. Oh, it made Race so happy to refer to Spot as his boyfriend.

“It was me. That’s why I wasn’t in the carriage!” Katherine responded, from the driver’s seat. Her driving the carriage was totally planned and not because the author forgot about her. With Sarah’s hand entwined in hers, she gracefully hopped down from the seat. “You didn’t think I’d fly home, did you?”

Race laughed and nudged his sister on the arm. “That’s how I got there the first time!” he exclaimed, stopping once he noticed the look of guilt on his sister’s face. “Don’ worry ‘bout it. I’se is fine…” he said, like a liar.

But Katherine inherited the smart genes of the family, unlike Race. She could tell that something was wrong with her brother. “Tonio, what’s wrong?” she asked, guiding him away from the rest of the group. No response. “Is it dad?” she asked, blindly searching for a facial cue from Race. When he grimaced slightly before returning to a poker face, she knew she’d hit the jackpot.

“He… he don’ want me no more, Kitty. If I go back… it could be real bad fer you… an’ everyone else,” Race admitted. The truth is that he was terrified of his father, no matter how many times he said he wasn’t. King Pulitzer was a scary man, who knows all of Race’s weaknesses.

Katherine grabbed Race’s shoulders in what was supposed to be a comforting manner. It turned out rather violent, but neither of them cared. “Tonio, we don’t care what happens to us, as long as we’re all together again. Plus, I’ll take the blame. He doesn’t hate me…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish her sentence.

But the idea had already been put into Race’s mind. “Yeah, ‘e does hate me. Why d’ya think so?” Race questioned. “Is it the charmin’ good looks? My beautiful poisonality?” he said, channeling his inner Crutchie. “Or is it ‘cause a’ somethin’ bigger than that?” he said, bordering dangerous foreshadowing territory.

“I don’t know… father is an… interesting man. He could be lashing out due to fear, or pain. It’s never easy to tell with him.”

“I knows, but he’s been doin’ this since Mama died. Think it could be somethin’ wit’ that?”

“I’d hope not, Tonio, truly. But we’ll find it out, and we’ll do it together,” Katherine said reassuringly. She saw the uncertainty in his face, however. “Remember, you’ll be the one in charge of the kingdom once he dies, he can’t just ignore you.”

He paused, considering what Katherine just said. “But if he marries you off… an alliance with another kingdom would take care of that! There’d be no reason fer me ta be alive…”

“We’re not letting my father’s old-fashioned views impact us! We’ll fix all of his mistakes soon. But right now, we need to figure out what’s going to happen once we reach Brook Land,” Katherine said, using her most royal tone of voice. “I have no idea how far it is, but I think that we’ll reach there by the late afternoon. I should see who’s leaving us then,” she added, before walking off towards the group.

Race followed suit, moving to creep up behind Spot. “Boo!” he exclaimed, jumping on Spot’s shoulders. The shorter boy looked rather unruffled by the surprise attack. “What’s fer lunch, Spotty?” Race asked, draping his body on Spot’s.

“I dunno, ask Crutchie,” Spot said, pointing to the optimistic boy. “He said he’d take care a’ the food.” Spot grabbed Race’s hand.

“I’se fine wit’ that,” Race replied, squeezing Spot’s calloused hands. “Plus, ya knows that I’ll eat anythin’ he makes. So how’s it hanging wit’ you?” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Obviously, since he is the best at everything, Spot Conlon can tell when things are wrong. Even when they seemed so right mere minutes ago. Which is exactly what happened Race. “Racer, what’s up?” he asked, keeping his tone as light as he could. When Race didn’t reply, Spot sighed. “You’ve gotta share what’s wrong, Tonio. Otherwise, you’ll never be happy.”

“I don’t wanna go back!” Race blurted out. “I don’t wanna go back to a place where my own damn father don’t want me! An’ no matter how many times Kitty says it’ll be fine, I know it won’t be.”

Spot nodded and grabbed his boyfriend’s hands. “I know,” he said, ignoring Race’s aghast look. “It won’t be easy fer ya. You’ve got a lot of shit to deal with…” Race looked like he wanted to say something, but decided at the last moment to keep it to himself. “But even if it ain’t fine, you’ll have people to protect you. We ain’t letting you go anytime soon. If ya did, I’m pretty sure Albert would explode.”

“Why would Albert explode?” an obnoxiously smug voice sang, followed by a flash of red hair. Albert should really win an award for ‘most convenient timing’ because he always jumps in at just the right moment. “Sup Race, Spot. How’s it hangin?” he asked, finger-gunning both of them. When neither of them responded, Albert, coughed. “Well, I just wanted to let ya know that Crutchie an’ Davey made some delicious soup fer us! Ya really should try it!” he motioned to the two boys, standing around a large pot over a fire.

After sensing that his presence wasn’t really needed… or wanted, Albert walked over to Finch and Papes for obvious reasons. Race and Spot shared a look, before walking over to the pots of soup.  
“Hey Davey, how’d ya get a pot?” Race asked as Davey poured soup into a small bowl. “Also, where’d ya get soup?”

Crutchie made jazz hands as he whispered “It’s magic,” to Race. “My boyfriend’s magic!” Crutchie added, sounding like a puppy in love. Well, to be fair, that’s a pretty accurate description. Davey just blushed and handed the two bowls of soup over.

“Enjoy,” Davey said, before kissing Crutchie on the head. Somewhere in the distance, Jack was gagging at the sight of romance, which led to Davey raising his right finger. “Jack if you want kisses, you’ve gotta come here!” he exclaimed. Both boys decided to leave before it got too cheesy. “Bye guys!” Davey said, not really paying attention to them anymore.

Spot and Race stared at each other for a few good minutes. “We’re never gonna be like them, right?” Spot asked, rather concerned for his future. Race nodded in agreement.

“No, you’se is gonna be way worse!” a voice chimed in. From some undisclosed area, Smalls appeared, poking Spot in the chest. “Spot, I love ya, but yer gonna be closer ta Blink ‘n Mush than Elmer ‘n Buttons,”

Spot laughed and pushed Smalls away. “Yeah, but we’ll make sure to do it right up close to you!” Smalls gagged, and ran away, presumably to find Les. Wanna eat?” Spot said, turning back to Race.

Their lunch was rather uneventful. Both of them ate while talking about menial things. They talked about the small things that they didn’t discuss on the carriage. Things like favorite foods, colors and childhood stories.

Of course, the old saying that ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ definitely applies to this situation. By the time they finally stopped talking, they saw that everyone else had gotten back into their respective carriages. The two stared at each other and burst out into laughter. “So… looks like we should head back to the carriage?” Spot said, in between laughs.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Race exclaimed, grabbing Spot’s hand again. As they hopped in the carriage, Race could feel the stares of his friends. “What?” he groaned, glaring at Albert again. “Albo, tell me or I tell Finch what you did last month!”

Albert gasped, flipped Race off, and opened his mouth. “We’re starin’ because yer dating a…” Spot entered the carriage, and Albert stopped talking. “Tell ya later Racer,” he whispered, before going back to a deep and meaningful conversation with Papes. “Ahh, yes, I see… please tell me more about the prices of bird food,” Albert said.

“Babe. Sweetie, honeypie, love of my life,” Finch said, looking at Albert like he’d grown two heads. “Never talk to my bird again. It’s really, really creepy,” Finch added, wrapping his arms around Papes. “Isn’t that right my lil beauty?” Finch cooed to the bird.

“HIPPOCRATES!” Albert screamed, earning him a horrified stare from Davey. He looked around the carriage to see if anyone else was offended, but nobody was.

Uncomfortably inching his way across the carriage, Davey managed to sit near Albert. “Albert… Hippocrates was a Greek physician…”

“Oh, sorry Davey!” Albert said, before turning back to Finch, who was still talking to Papes, and screaming “HIPPOPOTAMUS!” It was at this moment that David Jacobs felt his soul leave his body and ascend to Heaven to be with the L-rd.

Slowly and carefully, approaching the situation like one might approach a very angry goose, Davey patted Albert on the arm. “No… just no…” he said, before jumping into an entire English lesson fit for a college professor. Everyone else groaned because they all knew Davey wasn’t going to finish any time soon.

By the time Davey was done with his monologue/lecture/rant, they’d already reached Brookland. Everyone in the carriage, sans Specs and Romeo left, waving goodbye all the while screaming. “Bye!!!” the human carriage shouted, watching as the fairies disappeared into the woods.

“Wait, did Elmer just leave?” Les asked, causing everyone to have an ‘oh shit’ moment at the same time.

“Elmer!!!” they screamed, feeling rather relieved when the sunny gardener came bounding out of the woods like some Disney forest animal or something.

Katherine, from the driver’s seat of the carriage, called out to Elmer. “You are leaving with the fairies after all? Okay. Who’s a good replacement suggestion?” she asked, not that surprised.

“Her name’s Sniper, she’s a stable worker right now. Real nice an’ loves flowers jus’ as much as me!” he said, before looking at everyone else in the human carriage. “I love all of youse, an’ I hopes I c’n see ya after Pulitzer’s reign is collapsed!” he added, before disappearing into the woods once more.

Everyone stared at each other but didn’t really have the time to consider anything else. The sun was still in the sky, but it was only an hour away from setting. Katherine started the carriage up again, and the general chatter of the carriage resumed.

At long last, they had reached the Empire castle in Manhattan. Finally, the journey home was completed. Katherine pulled the carriage into the stables, winking at the twin stable-hands, who seemed rather nervous. “Everyone off!” she cried, hopping down from the driver’s seat. Once everyone had gotten off, however…

“Katherine!” a booming voice exclaimed. “Get away from those ruffians!” It was King Pulitzer. At the same time as the king emerged from the shadows, guards appeared, surrounding the rest of the group. Pulitzer grabbed Katherine’s arm and pulled her close to him. “Oh, sweetheart, I was so worried!” he said, giving her a tight hug. “It seems that these… these… scoundrels have kidnapped you!”

Slowly, the guards started coming closer and closer to the group. “No, we didn’t kidnap her! We promises!” Crutchie cried, holding onto his crutch with white knuckles. “She saved me! An’ Racer!”

“Racer?” King Pulitzer boomed, staring at the young boy. “Who on earth would go by the name Racer?” Race stepped away from the rest of the group. He raised his hand to greet his father, but King Pulitzer pointed his finger first. “Seize him! That boy is a danger to society, along with the rest of them!”

A guard moved to grab Race’s arms, pinning them behind his back. Other guards began to roughly seize each boy, cuffing their hands behind their backs. Katherine didn’t protest her father’s tight grip like he expected. In fact, everyone was expecting her to do something. Instead, she looked at him straight in the eyes, and exclaimed: “At least let me keep the girls!” Katherine pointed at Smalls and Sarah. “They’ll make good slaves!” she said in her brattiest voice imaginable.

Another guard grabbed both girls and hauled them away from the rest of the group. The remaining bunch stared at Katherine in horror. How could she do this to them? “Darling, are there any more?” Pulitzer asked his daughter, frighteningly excited by her attitude.

“Yes. The boy with the crutch, the fairy and the little boy!” she added, giving her father a huge hug as Crutchie, Romeo and Les were seized as well. “Thank you daddy!” she giggled, before running off to her room.

King Pulitzer laughed and stared at the remaining boys. “Take them to the dungeon. But leave the blond one, he seems like a disrespectful little brat.” The guards marched the boys away, leaving Pulitzer with his former son. “Hello Antonio, welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THAT BLUSH, ELMER, BUTTONS AND JOJO LEFT!!! BUT U DO GET SNIPER WHICH MEANS...... smalls and sniper are gonna become a thing in the future!!!
> 
> I needed to cut down on characters bc i kept forgetting them, and they were the most convenient. dont worry, we'll have lil updates from Brook Land, bc we need to see how our fav horny couple is doing. 
> 
> also sorry for the cliff hanger ending and for turning kath evil i swear i have a plan (kinda) (not really)
> 
> the whole hippocrates/hippopotamus/hypocrite thing is from either tumblr or reddit i cant remember 
> 
> But Serious Time Y'all:  
> This story was so much fun to write, especially compared to Dragons and Men. This was more of a 'joke' fic than a serious fic, but it did what I wanted it to do. The whole purpose of this story was to be a smaller interlude before the Official Sequel: Sons and Kings starts off. Your comments are what give me life, and I'm so appreciative of every single one of you!
> 
> ⓅⒺⒶⒸⒺ ⓄⓊⓉ ⒷⓄⓎ ⓈⒸⓄⓊⓉⓈ

**Author's Note:**

> imma try to do the same thing that i did last time, updating every sunday (except for the first one lol) and a few extra ones if im feelin real creative.
> 
> if you wanna make me scream with happiness, leave a comment/keyboard smash bc i love responses! 
> 
> pEAcE OUt bOYscOUts


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